WWE Battleground 2014: What we learned

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That sure was a pay-per-view!

WWE Battleground took place on Sunday night, featuring a tag team title match, a battle royal for the vacant Intercontinental Championship and a Fatal 4-Way for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. So where do we stand after all that? At the risk of repeating ourselves here:

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Yep. We try not to be too cynical around here, lest we fall into the slippery snake pit of Internet snarkdom, but sometimes there’s a placeholder PPV. Last night’s event, while not outright BAD, was merely treading water in order for the WWE to make it to SummerSlam. But let’s quit stalling and get to the results, shall we?

WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos (c) def. The Wyatt Family (2-Out-Of-3 Falls Match)

As expected, this was a terrific match and a great way to get the evening started. The Usos retained after losing the first fall and taking the next two straight, while the Wyatts continued their run of spectacular PPV matches stretching all the way back to Elimination Chamber in February.

 

WWE Battlegorund

The WWE used an international disaster as an angle

No. Just, no.

An evening at The Iron Sheik’s ‘Roasted Rumble’

Sheiky Baby, Deebo, Buff and Mr. Belding. Just another Thursday night in Los Angeles.

What we learned: The Usos have been champs since March. While it’s been suspected they would lose the titles several times now (to the point where it looked like they’d be transitional champions at the outset of their reign), they’ve won every feud they’ve entered into. Long reigns aren’t bad, but the tag team division needs a shake-up. If the Wyatts were going to win the belts, this was the time. The Rhodes Brothers and RybAxel are caught in a feedback loop where they only wrestle each other, the Ascension hasn’t been called up (irony!) from NXT yet. There are great, great teams in the tag division right now, but something’s gotta give.

Divas Championship Match: AJ Lee (c) def. Paige

Paige was a dominant, battling, tough-as-nails champ in NXT and was so dominant (and so good) that she got called up. She defeated AJ in her first match on the main roster to win the Divas championship and then had a series of wishy-washy feuds with unimpressive-looking victories while AJ was on hiatus. AJ came back, defeated PAIGE for the championship on her first night back, then had little trouble dispatching her, with both wrestlers behaving more-or-less as babyfaces (or at least being respectful of one another). So …

What we learned: They have no idea what to do with the Divas division, right? They dropped what they were doing with Alicia Fox (the thing that was finally making her compelling), the hot new thing wasn’t given a chance to shine and yielded to the hot old thing and there’s nothing else really happening on the main roster. Meanwhile, in NXT, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Bayley and even Natalya are all mixing it up and having great matches. I guess it’s going to be a while yet before women are allowed to really show off what they can do on WWE television.

Rusev def. Jack Swagger

Rusev managed to eke out a win by the skin of his teeth, barely defeating “The All-American American” Jack Swagger via countout in order to continue his reign of undefeated Russian terror. (Or something.)

What we learned: Rusev is never going to lose, Jack Swagger is never going to win and you maybe shouldn’t refer to stuff like this in order to get cheap heat. Swagger is clearly the guy to defeat Rusev, as he’s the one guy who could truly benefit from doing so and then Rusev can finally move onto something else. But I guess we’re going to have to wait until SummerSlam for that. Or for anything else, really.

 

Chris Jericho def. Bray Wyatt

Yes, Cool Dad beat the scary demonic cult leader, just right out of the gate. Hit him with his finisher and pinned him clean. So. There’s that, I guess.

What we learned: I have absolutely no idea. Lots of people assumed, given how much Jericho talked up the Wyatt Family, that he was returning to work a program with these guys he loved so that he could help put them over. Maybe they felt Wyatt winning would be too much of a given? This feud may continue at SummerSlam, but just like Bray’s feud with John Cena, it doesn’t make any sense after cleanly losing to the hero in the first real match of the feud. That’s … not how feuds are supposed to work. I like to think that Bray will be fine after this, but …

Dean Ambrose NC Seth Rollins

There was no match! Just a lot of backstage attacks and a guy hiding in the trunk of a car.

What we learned: It is awesome when certifiable maniac Dean Ambrose lays in wait for a guy in the trunk of the guy’s car. It is less awesome when we are promised a match that we’re all looking forward to, but we have to wait another month to see that match, due to ~SHENANIGANS~

The Miz wins the Intercontinental Championship Battleground Battle Royal

The just-returned Miz was the only real choice to win the vacant title here, as he’s rejuvenated as a heel and has a chance at re-elevating both the title and himself with a lengthy cocky heel reign.

Last night’s event, while not outright BAD, was merely treading water in order for the WWE to make it to SummerSlam.

What we learned: There was a rumor going around after WrestleMania that WWE had put Paul Heyman with Cesaro in order to get “smart” fans in a tizzy: to create the illusion that he was being “held down” by “management” so that when he finally busted out, it would be an even bigger deal. If it’s true, that’s amazing and his elimination by Heath Slater in the Battleground battle royal, combined with his recent losses to Kofi Kingston, are the definition of the long con. The truth is that Cesaro doesn’t need the Intercontinental Championship. Not in any way. Other people in this match who don’t need it: Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler … pretty much anyone who could have conceivably won it. The battle royal was fun, made sense … one of the high points of the night and the only thing that really, actually happened on the show.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match: John Cena (c) def. Roman Reigns, Randy Orton & Kane

As it was written, so shall it be: John Cena overcame the odds.

What we learned: Bring on SummerSlam. Bring on Brock Lesnar. Is it August yet? No? Can it be?

Oh.

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